In the recent Supreme Court debate about the Defense of Marriage
Act, Justice Antonin Scalia remarked that experts still don’t know the
long-term effects of gay people raising children. Many heterosexual people
worry that same sex marriage will lead to children becoming gay, feeling
unsupported, or experiencing major problems at home. However, numerous research studies show that sexual orientation just doesn’t matter when it comes to childhood outcomes. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics released a report synthesizing three decades of research on the topic. The main findings?
Gender, sexual orientation, and race of parents don’t matter. Strong
parent-child relationships, the parents’ relationship, parental stress levels,
and social support are far more essential for childhood development.
On a practical level, this makes perfect sense. A lesbian couple
who is warm, respectful, and loving is much more likely to raise healthy, happy children than a heterosexual couple who constantly fight, belittle one another, and talk down to their children. Similarly, interracial parents who are there
for their child’s soccer game demonstrate their love and commitment through their actions. The child of that biracial couple is much more likely to be physically and psychologically healthy than the children of two stressed out, absentee parents who happen to be white. Children need parents who are able to love them, discipline them as needed, celebrate their achievements, be there during their important events, become involved at school, foster their creativity, allow them to be vulnerable, and facilitate their independence. It’s about the love a child feels, rather than the race or sexual orientation of his parents.
In short, it doesn’t matter whether your daughter has two dads
showing up to her first dance recital, or two moms, or a black dad and white
mom, or any other configuration of parents. What matters is that she sees
smiling, loving faces looking up at her as she pirouettes and dances across the
stage. Even more important is fostering a strong, open relationship in which
children feel comfortable expressing their feelings, fears, and proudest
achievements. At the end of the day, it’s not about the looks: it all comes
down to the love.
EliteToyStore is a proud contributor to the Toys for Tots foundation.
November 14 – December 6th EliteToyStore will contribute $1 in toys for every fan on Facebook.
Your one click away from brightening a child’s holiday.
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